What is a Weekly Word?
One of the things that you may notice about me is that I like to use a power or “themed” word(s) in my messages. I have to admit that in my early school years I can recall the weekly assignment of twenty to twenty-five spelling words in which I had to learn and then copy down the definition and then use it in a sentence. No, I did not have the internet from which to cut and paste and complete my assignment in ten minutes. It was a walk down the hall to the library, over to the reference section and then it was me and good old Webster’s Dictionary for the next hour or more. Why is the teacher relentlessly making me go through this week in and week out? For goodness sakes, I’m in fourth grade and I already know a whole bunch of big words, why should I take up useful space in my brain that I will need for more episodes of Star Trek or Gilligan’s Island when I get home?
Well I am thankful that my teachers did not relent even though I believe that I have forgotten more words than I use on a daily basis. The point is, the word is important but how you use it and what you do with it is what matters.
What you will see is the definition of the word as defined by Dictionary.com. Then there will be an explanation as to how you can insert and adapt this word into a purpose-driven manner as you go about your week. Think of it as instructions for daily success. Realize though that you will be tasked with implementation as this is a basic plan for you to use, develop and succeed with either at work or in your personal life.
My goal for this section (and ultimately for you) is that you will use, apply and act on Dan’s Weekly Word as you purposefully go through your week. Use it in a variety of everyday instances to help yourself and others. Not once or twice but daily and hourly if necessary. This is designed to be used and useful, some assembly required! Write it down or print it out and put it on your refrigerator, computer, bathroom mirror or wherever else you can so that it will become a part of your success for that week. As the saying goes, use it or lose it.
com·pro·mise 1. a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands. Like you, I find myself surrounded by continual compromises on a daily if not minute-by-minute basis. It seems almost impossible to try and make it through any condition without having to make a compromise of some sort. What is extremely important here is what is referenced in the definition above, which is “mutual concessions.” I find this part of the definition extremely valuable and enlightening as we often overlook the reality of this simple two word statement. Mutual actually means, We are talking about mutual and respectful concessions by both or all parties. Think about this for a minute, when you have a sit down with your manager to discuss any situation, are you actually believing that you will have a mutually and respectful compromise on what you are seeking? What you will also notice from the definition of compromise and mutual is that the word “reciprocal” is used in both. Think back to your days of fractions and the reciprocal of ½ was 2/1. In essence, what is necessary to make the equation equal to a whole or the number one. For true compromise, both sides need to give equally and make mutual concessions or adjustments just as noted in the definition. Each of us realizes that it is impossible to speed ahead and not expect that there will be times of compromise. It is important to understand that compromise is a way of learning and adapting to a variety of elements, personalities and difficulties that face us on a daily basis. What is imperative to know and cannot be overstated is that seeking compromise is not a sign of weakness but rather strength. Whereas a compromise may become a negotiation, it does not mean that you have to jeopardize or sacrifice your morals or your true position. Obstinance does not lead to compromise yet it may lead you to self-centeredness and the inability to create a successful compromise. Recognize that true compromise is an effort and not taken lightly by either party. Here are a couple of simple items that can help you to receive better success in how you effectively compromise; Compromise is key to any relationship and yes it needs to be mutual. If you or the other party do not see the relationship as mutual then be aware that another party may be sought out and you may find yourself holding to a position that merits nothing but your own self interest.
“possessed, experienced, performed, etc., by each of two or more with respect to the other; reciprocal.” 
When you or someone that you are seeking the compromise with has a positional or effective power advantage, compromise as seen from your vantage point is you giving a lot more than your manager or company. The same holds true in any relationship whether it is marriage or parental. If you are on the side of the power advantage, realize and understand the impact of the decision that you are making and the difficulty that the other person(s) are having to go through in order to seek the mutual aspect of the relationship.
au·then·tic
adjective
1. not false or copied; genuine; real
2. having the origin supported by unquestionable evidence; authenticated; verified
3. entitled to acceptance or belief because of agreement with known facts or experience; reliable; trustworthy
Believe it or not I actually did not plan on starting with a word that begins with the letter “A” it just worked out that way. I recently finished reading the book, “Why Should Anyone Be Led by You? What it Takes to Be an Authentic Leader” by Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is in a leadership or quasi-leadership role. At the core of it meaning, they use authenticity as a measure of what makes a good or great leader. You will note that in the definition above, words like genuine, real, reliable and trustworthy are used. These are words that many of us can seemingly have trouble relating to as we step into a role at work or tune into the latest broadcast of the evening news. It’s no wonder that Goffee and Jones took almost 250 pages to spell it out.
Being authentic is not easy. It means having an unquestionable conscience to be true to any and everything based on ones core sense of values. It is the, “What you see is what you get” reality of life. It means knowing who you are and what you stand for. It is self-disclosure and self-governance. It is about taking these measures and putting them forth into a doable and declarable way of life.
Ok, let me back up for a minute and bring home the essence of what is needed here. First of all, as much as we would all like to believe that we are authentic in all that we say and do, reality says that this is more than likely not the truth of the matter. Sure, we all are good deep down inside and treat our fellow man/woman with the utmost care and compassion right? Chances are that the world as we know it has planted a firm grasp on you and has pointed you in a variety of directions for self-indulgence and self-preservation that your authentic self may be buried down a little deeper inside you that was noticed at first glance. So what can be done to make this harden outer shell reflect more of the inner authentic person that each of us should be? Here are a few simple steps to get started with,
- Define what you would expect your authentic self to be. It is more than simply a determination of good or bad and right or wrong. It is the traits on which you base fundamental truths about yourself in which you are accountable to. If you believe that you are already authentic in most of how you act along with what you do and say every day, then write down what those qualities are that make you this way and see what you can do to improve upon them. By the way, being somewhat authentic is like being somewhat pregnant. Make basic definitions or statements and make them a part of your daily life.
- Visualize authenticity. Can you picture it? What is so special about you that you can believe it and help others to see it? How can you be authentic if you cannot see what it is? How can others see you this way if you are not presenting it? Add value to something or someone else. Authentic people realize that they have a need and responsibility to be representative of this trait in an outward and visible nature. Don’t be afraid to engage yourself and others. You will probably see that your authentic nature makes it easier in many cases for others to be authentic as well.
- Learn to be consistent with your message even if you have to portray yourself in a variety of venues throughout your day. Be the same person to your boss and co-workers as you are to your friends, spouse or children even though you may have to present yourself differently due to the situation (meaning that you may not hug your boss at work as you would your spouse or children when home yet you can still be caring, compassionate or respectful to others while at work). The nucleus of whom and what you are is the same.
- Being authentic is not always about being right. In fact, you may find yourself on the tough side of many conversations that will not always make you the most beloved person. Compromise is key to being authentic. Know when and how to adapt to the situation at hand and compromise on your position not necessarily your authenticity.
Notice that there are a lot of questions here so don’t just read them, answer them. Where is your pen and paper? Yes I’ve seen your mental notes before and they last about as long as the first pigs house of straw and the wolf is about to blow it away. Apply yourself to become better.
I am reminded of the movie, “The Matrix” when Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, is in the kitchen with the older and wiser female Oracle. She points to a small sign over the door that is written in Latin. She asks Neo, “Do you know what that means?” "It is Latin for Know Thy Self”. Being authentic starts with “Knowing Thy Self” first and then believing it and doing something outwardly about it.
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